HomeNewsArticle Display

Five Minutes to Thrive: Losers of the World: UNITE!

Minot Strong

Minot Air Force Base is working continuously to bring more information to the base populace on COVID-19. (U.S. Air Force graphic by Airman Jan Valle)

MINOT AIR FORCE BASE, N.D. --

Hello, my name is Ashley and I’m a loser. Big or small, it’s safe to say we’ve all lost something

in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic.

 

Losing important things (and people) can shake foundational beliefs about the way we thought life would be, and should be. When our current realities differ greatly from the expectations and fantasies we’ve held, it’s normal for us to experience disappointment, grief, and a loss of control.

 

A common reaction to this is comparing our experiences with others’. Unfortunately, this often leads to feelings of self-pity, vain attempts to establish “loss hierarchies”, corner the markets on sadness and disappointment, and ugly “one-upping” behavior. 

 

These ineffective coping behaviors often represent our best attempts under difficult circumstances to secure the validation and sympathy we think we need in order to move forward. Regrettably, they often have the opposite of the intended effect, resulting in alienation and isolation from supporters.

 

If there’s anything we need less of during social distancing, it’s feelings of interpersonal isolation. People who feel lonely or isolated are more likely to perceive their losses and experiences as traumatic, and are at greater risk for depression, anxiety, and other negative outcomes.

 

Columbia University psychologist George Bonanno said, "When we experience grief, it's not just a random byproduct of loss, it's useful.”

 

If there’s a silver lining to our current situation, it’s the fact that we are all in it together. Research confirms that there are significant advantages to going through tough experiences as a community. Our collective capacity for empathy and our culture of unwavering commitments to wingmen and our missions hold enormous potential for effectively managing feelings of loss, and reaching out in pro-social ways to powerfully impact the lives of individuals in our communities. 

 

We haven’t turned the corner on COVID-19 yet, and it will make “losers” of us all at some point. The sooner we accept this and learn to find value in our grief, the sooner we’ll be able to effectively tend to responsibilities linked to our Core Values - and become the winners  and champions for those in our homes and communities who need us most. 

 

Questions? Contact Dr. Ashley Kilgore at ashley.c.kilgore.mil@mail.mil or the Minot MHC at 701-723-5527. 

 

USAF Comments Policy
If you wish to comment, use the text box below. AF reserves the right to modify this policy at any time.

This is a moderated forum. That means all comments will be reviewed before posting. In addition, we expect that participants will treat each other, as well as our agency and our employees, with respect. We will not post comments that contain abusive or vulgar language, spam, hate speech, personal attacks, violate EEO policy, are offensive to other or similar content. We will not post comments that are spam, are clearly "off topic", promote services or products, infringe copyright protected material, or contain any links that don't contribute to the discussion. Comments that make unsupported accusations will also not be posted. The AF and the AF alone will make a determination as to which comments will be posted. Any references to commercial entities, products, services, or other non-governmental organizations or individuals that remain on the site are provided solely for the information of individuals using this page. These references are not intended to reflect the opinion of the AF, DoD, the United States, or its officers or employees concerning the significance, priority, or importance to be given the referenced entity, product, service, or organization. Such references are not an official or personal endorsement of any product, person, or service, and may not be quoted or reproduced for the purpose of stating or implying AF endorsement or approval of any product, person, or service.

Any comments that report criminal activity including: suicidal behaviour or sexual assault will be reported to appropriate authorities including OSI. This forum is not:

  • This forum is not to be used to report criminal activity. If you have information for law enforcement, please contact OSI or your local police agency.
  • Do not submit unsolicited proposals, or other business ideas or inquiries to this forum. This site is not to be used for contracting or commercial business.
  • This forum may not be used for the submission of any claim, demand, informal or formal complaint, or any other form of legal and/or administrative notice or process, or for the exhaustion of any legal and/or administrative remedy.

AF does not guarantee or warrant that any information posted by individuals on this forum is correct, and disclaims any liability for any loss or damage resulting from reliance on any such information. AF may not be able to verify, does not warrant or guarantee, and assumes no liability for anything posted on this website by any other person. AF does not endorse, support or otherwise promote any private or commercial entity or the information, products or services contained on those websites that may be reached through links on our website.

Members of the media are asked to send questions to the public affairs through their normal channels and to refrain from submitting questions here as comments. Reporter questions will not be posted. We recognize that the Web is a 24/7 medium, and your comments are welcome at any time. However, given the need to manage federal resources, moderating and posting of comments will occur during regular business hours Monday through Friday. Comments submitted after hours or on weekends will be read and posted as early as possible; in most cases, this means the next business day.

For the benefit of robust discussion, we ask that comments remain "on-topic." This means that comments will be posted only as it relates to the topic that is being discussed within the blog post. The views expressed on the site by non-federal commentators do not necessarily reflect the official views of the AF or the Federal Government.

To protect your own privacy and the privacy of others, please do not include personally identifiable information, such as name, Social Security number, DoD ID number, OSI Case number, phone numbers or email addresses in the body of your comment. If you do voluntarily include personally identifiable information in your comment, such as your name, that comment may or may not be posted on the page. If your comment is posted, your name will not be redacted or removed. In no circumstances will comments be posted that contain Social Security numbers, DoD ID numbers, OSI case numbers, addresses, email address or phone numbers. The default for the posting of comments is "anonymous", but if you opt not to, any information, including your login name, may be displayed on our site.

Thank you for taking the time to read this comment policy. We encourage your participation in our discussion and look forward to an active exchange of ideas.

Official Minot AFB Social Media Pages

Facebook
Instagram
Twitter
Flickr
YouTube

 

 

 

Force Support Squadron Resources
facebook.com/5thforcesupport
5thforcesupport.com

Community Bulletin Board