Forever a family

  • Published
  • By Airman 1st Class Apryl Hall
  • Minot Air Force Base Public Affairs
MINOT AIR FORCE BASE, N.D. --  United States service members and their family make a lot of sacrifices throughout their lives. Constant moves, long hours and limited family time are common for many military families. When individuals become part of a military family, they consent to make these sacrifices part of their lives. Some sacrifices, though, are unexpected.

Loss is something that everyone must deal with in life, but it takes on a little more meaning within military families. Unexpectedly losing a loved one who was healthy and strong, but volunteered to put his or her life on the line for the benefit of others is not something that is easily understood. Although there are dozens of programs to help grieving military families, one stands out among the rest for one Minot Air Force Base Airman - the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, or simply TAPS.

"My brother died in 2005 in Iraq so I've been going to TAPS since 2006," said Tech. Sgt. John Ferderer, 5th Operations Support Squadron weather forecaster. "It's a very powerful program for everybody involved."

Every year on Memorial Day weekend, TAPS members travel to Washington D.C. for the Good Grief Camp. The camp allows children ages 5-19 to get together and learn to better cope with the loss of their military family member. The camp includes group discussions, activities, trips to the monuments and memorials, and a personal military mentor for each child.

Ferderer originally started attending as a survivor, but since has gotten more involved in the program. He previously volunteered as a mentor and now attends as a group leader, overseeing a group of children and their mentors. The idea of giving the children an actual military member as a mentor is of great significance, Ferderer said.

"The kids get that military discussion, that pull-back to the military life they had before," Ferderer said. "This is how they can remember their loved ones."

In an effort to get more Minot Airmen involved in the program, a local church started helping with funds for the annual trip. Paired with the North Dakota Air National Guard's budget to send surviving family members to the event, the state of North Dakota has become one of the only states to completely pay for selected survivors and mentors to attend.

"I have only been here for six months, but I was proud to say at that program that I'm from North Dakota," said Staff Sgt. Johnathan Bertini, 5th OSS aircrew flight equipment craftsman and first-time mentor at the Good Grief Camp. "They all looked at us a little bit different."

Throughout the three-day camp, Bertini focused on offering support to his assigned child, he said. He also learned how difficult the loss is for some.

"That was when I got emotional, just hearing people's stories and how the survivor's cope with it," Bertini said. "I just wanted to be there for him and just make a friend for life."

For another first-time mentor, the experience had him awestruck, said Senior Airman Scott Hilde, 5th OSS weather forecaster. The amount of support and comfort offered to survivors at the camp was something he will not soon forget.

"The loss is never going to go away, but people learn to cope with it," Hilde said. "It's comforting when you have so many people together that have all dealt with the same thing. At least we have each other. We have a family that understands this type of loss."