Lighting the way to life Published April 21, 2010 By Tech. Sgt. Lee A. Osberry Jr. Minot Air Force Base Public Affairs MINOT AIR FORCE BASE, N.D. -- "Mr. Smith there's been an accident. Your son was found in his home deceased with what appears to be a self-inflicted gunshot. We are deeply sorry for your loss and the Air Force is here to help you in any way possible." The father lets out a loud shriek and with tears streaming cries, "Why...why did this happen? I just talked to him yesterday." The scenario above is one of the most difficult situations commanders may find themselves. The universal question always comes down to why and could it have been prevented. Unfortunately one may never know all the answers but there are usually signs. Everyone should be aware of these signs since it can come from anyone at anytime. Engagement is the key to see these signs as the person doesn't necessarily want to die but would rather stop whatever's causing the pain. "He seemed to be a little down in the dumps, but who wouldn't be if their wife just cleaned out the house with the kids and left? I know he'd been drinking a lot more after work since then and kept muttering, 'I hate life,' the past few days." A drastic change in behavior or mood is usually the most obvious and initial signs of trouble. A person may be unaware of another's personal issues at home but deterioration in one's attitude, dress and appearance is a hint something is awry. "Social withdrawal, poor hygiene, plus drug and/or alcohol abuse are red flags" said Senior Airman Ashley Albright, 5th Medical Group suicide prevention monitor. "Other common signs are eating or sleeping difficulty, talking about suicide, unusual risk taking, a sense of hopelessness, and relationship problems," Albright added. "It's my fault. I approved his leave because he said he needed time from all this to be alone. He felt like him working all the time was the reason the wife left. He just bought that new rifle and said he needed time to clear his head. He seemed really calm given everything that just happened. I was going to ask him but I didn't want to give him any ideas." A common misconception about suicide is that you could put the idea in their head. "This is false. If you have a concern about it, and they have shown other signs, they've likely thought about it," said Master Sgt. John Jeziorske, 5th Medical Group Mental Health Clinic flight chief. "Anything to help the individual communicate about this shared concern is great." According to a report from Air Combat Command there were 46 total force suicides in 2008 and 2009 across the Air Force. This includes active duty, reserve, and civilian personnel. "He called me last night at 2 a.m. and said I could have his prized golf clubs since he wasn't going to be using it much longer. He said I'd always been a great friend and he was leaving tomorrow. I took it as him being drunk calling that early. I had no idea....I thought only crazy people would do that, not Smitty." One of the most immediate ways people can make an impact in a person's life is to recognize the signs and act. "Knowing the resources ahead of time, removing any lethal means, staying with them and asking them directly are critical," stated Albright. As previously stated the majority of the time the person wants to live but the only option they can clearly see is suicide. Actively listening to the person, highlighting the positive reasons for them to live, and most importantly getting them to Mental Health/the closest hospital are all ways someone can help in breaking the "tunnel vision." The 5th MDG offers suicide prevention and awareness briefings at official functions upon request. Other sources for more information include the Military One Source/Military Homefront websites, and of course, annual computer based training. As a reminder help is always a call away. Wingmen, supervisors, first sergeants and commanders are always the first line. Other agencies include; the Mental Health Clinic 723-5527, Chaplain 723-2456 and the suicide hotline 1-800-SUICIDE(1-800-784-2433). "Suicide is truly a permanent solution to a temporary problem," said Albright. "Although we can give you the number of completed and attempted suicides throughout the past decade, there is no way we can give how many times someone took the opportunity to listen, care and a life was saved."